I had a very sad experience in London last week.
I went out for dinner one evening and sat a couple of tables down from me was an old man, with a scruffy white beard. He had a younger colleague with him who was trying to cheer him up and get him to re-engage with life.
Over the course of their very one sided conversation, it became clear who the old man was. This man was one of my generations greatest political thinkers (before you assume anything about my age, he wasn’t as old as he looked).
Clearly, he had withdrawn from public life and without his work identity had completely collapsed in on himself.
He was barely recognisable.
I don’t know exactly what is going on/has gone on for this titan of public policy, although I gleaned more than I should have done from his overly loud companion, but it seemed clear that he felt no self-worth in the absence of his former role.
It is valuable lesson to all of us.
If we only construct our identity from the person we are at work, retirement can bring with it a collapse in our sense of self.
We advise several clients who are still working into their 80s, because they enjoy it and it is their identity. This is fine as long as the reasoning is acknowledged and the trade-offs discussed (saying yes to work also means saying no to your partner, as long as they are happy with this – then crack on).
It tends to be business owners and the self-employed who can carry on as long as their senses hold out. The employed have an employer who might take a different view on the employability of an eighty year old (for right or wrong). So there is more risk in tying your identity to work in this case.
I would also guess that the old man, didn’t have family still alive to look out for him or a network of friends outside of work. It seemed from the loud barracking his younger colleague was giving him, that it was entirely possible that this former aide was the only one still willing to pick up the phone and go for a beer.
If we are to avoid a slide into ourselves when life takes a pivot, we need to develop friends outside of work, stay in touch with family (within reason), start hobbies and find community.
It is easy to think that the person we are today, is the person we will be when we are old. That just isn’t very likely and the only person that can look out for that future old you is the you of today.
Altor Wealth advises clients from our office in Hook, across Hampshire, Surrey, Berkshire, Sussex and Kent, and throughout the UK using the latest technology.